FINAL THOUGHTS: Pretty was much better than I thought it would be, but even saying that doesn't make it good. There wasn't enough time for the creator to decide whether or not he wanted us to be afraid of the cute little monsters or find them adorable. So they tried to split hairs, which means we felt neither way. Also it was far too predictable The final act was, hands down, the best part of the game as it was focused on telling its own story and not lost in the confusion of the first two-thirds of the game. Overall, they is hope that more development could end with something halfway decent from these guys. However, the most important things they have to learn from NaNoRenO are some of the same things they should have learned from the demo of Starswirl Academy:
- 'Cute', in most cases its used as a character trait, is annoying. Drop it and go for something with more substance; especially if you are trying to write a villainous character. Also there was no moment where the main character felt even remotely relevant (similar to a certain rock-inspired protagonist). They exist only for the girls to look better in contrast: not as a believable part of this universe. Go back to what I said about characters being 'cute': it doesn't work. Either find something with more substance for the ENTIRE cast or start over.
- Pick a plot direction and stick with it. Not a lot of detail needed here. The direction you want to take a story influences the way its written, so if you can't pick a direction it DOES NOT WORK. So, pick a direction. Either you want the to give the audience a suspenseful horror story OR you want to tell a cute slice-of-life tale. I'm not saying you can't do both, I'm just saying YOU can't do both (looking at you Wavedash).
I'll see you guys in Round 2!